My last post was written in the heat of the moment. I imagine a little girl trying to find her way down a path and, with map in hand, assumes the way to the patch of sweetness is right over the hill. Only, when she gets to the hill, she finds it flipped upside down. Well! I wasn’t expecting this, she sighs. And, without ways or means of understanding the terrain (because she’s only been following her map) she sits down and cries in frustration.
The map is our ideas, our cunning plans we draw and sketch in our mind, wandering around in a dream-of-how-it-will-be, listening to Brahms String Quartets, falling in love with the hectic lines and beautiful movements. Oh, and then this and this, and if I only do this! What beautiful stories!
However, the terrain can and does change beneath our feet. The hill was once an ox, grazing easily on daisies and mountain-weeds. But now the Ox decides to trample the hill and set sail on a boat. And this was planned long ago, before we were born. And even though he sails away, he writes us letters on planks of wood, hoping soon they’ll wash up on shore. “I will return, but I’ve been sent to fetch your dreams!” he writes. “In my place will be an opossum. Don’t worry, he’s rather sweet and knows your name before it was spoken. Treat him with reverence and he will tell you the way home.”
Well, the girl hears of this Ox in her dreams and, setting out with passion and desire for her Highest Self, she dreams of him nightly. Oh, and then I will see the Ox, she thinks, and he will show me how to climb the hill to the patch of sweetness!
However, the hill has turned upside down, and there is an opossum waddling along and hoping to be taken seriously, as he has many secrets to tell her.
But fear overcomes the girl and the opossum growls, sensing her fear. If only she could hold out her hand in reverence, the opossum knows the way over the upside down hill.
Learn to look at the unexpected opossum not only from a different angle (and thus the hill) but with reverence. Know that you know only the way in which your feet move, and what to do with your heart each moment….but you do not know the unseen twists and turns, where the Ox has disappeared and that he will return, bearing gifts you can’t fathom, yet.
And, in such a small way of looking at things, how limited our perception. The lost-forest is bigger than our imagination, and thus it covers every possibility, every dream.
So, as I walk into this situation of possible change, I’ve decided to take a new perspective, and to have faith and reverence for the scope of my life that I cannot understand.
Yes, at first I saw the upside down hill as a great shift an my fear reared its head. All the voices of doubt surfaced and my imaginary map grew large upon my mental wall. I saw every flaw, every loss, of which I had merely created, just as the map itself was created, and thus not tangible or real. What’s only real is this moment, and how we choose to approach it, and treat our hearts.
I was reading Aldous Huxley’s “The Perennial Philosophy” today, enjoying the West Texas sunshine and my beer and within it (the book, not the beer) I read the words of Plotinus:
“see all things, not in the process of becoming, but in Being, and see themselves in the other. Each being contains in itself the whole intelligible world. Therefore All is everywhere. Each is there All, and All is each. Man as he now is has ceased to be the All. But when he ceases to be an individual, he raises himself again and penetrates the whole world.”
I smiled and leaned back. I let go. I reached out my hand to my fear and my opossum I decided to turn my head upside down and re-examine the hill I had approached.
The economy is tough. The universe is presenting an opportunity (possibly) for me to have a high salary to pay off my loans and build myself up again, financially. It’s a gift! And it’s a job I’ve done before, and enjoyed. It’s a job that gave me enough financial security to live in New York without a job for a year. And because of it, I was afforded the opportunity to live in New York, to fall in love in New York, to grow and learn and make new friends. To expand my skills and challenge the perceptions I’ve held.
The job would allow time to write and stress off my head. I don’t have to struggle. I can plan and celebrate and look forward to my next adventure while I rest and accumulate.
Seen this way, how could I complain?
And, seen in the way I see the Unseen, it doesn’t matter where you are, or who’s your guide, but how you approach life, it’s turns, and what you’ll do with your heart.
I am a writer. A writer who can love and search and find the path on any road.
The All is everywhere, and I have it in myself wherever I wander.
Even as I love from a place where time is no matter. As long as I’m living, I’ll keep accepting and saying, YES and THANK YOU with reverence.
Now, time to see what the hill actually looks like. And time to love who and what I love from afar and nearer than my own breath.
So, thank you. And Yes.
Sometimes, the exact place you never wanted to be turns out to be the exact place you’re meant to be. The exact place where blessings unseen begin to speak, and whisper to those who stop and become silent enough to listen.
The little girl approaches the hill, upside down and all. She wraps her arms around what she can see, and decides to excite in that which she hasn’t yet seen. The opossum smiles and says, Hurry along, now! Have I got a lot to tell you!